Get ready for a haunting that left me saying “not so spooktacular”. It’s time to review Grady Hendrix’s “How to Sell a Haunted House”!
Ever had a realtor try to convince you that the mysterious stain on the ceiling is “just character”? Well, this book tries to convince you that its plot is worth your time, and spoiler alert: I’m not buying it!
When Louise returns home after her parents’ death, she’s faced with clearing out their house – which is basically a creepy doll museum thanks to her mother’s lifelong obsession. Add a resentful brother, family secrets, and some supernatural shenanigans, and you’ve got yourself a recipe for horror. Or at least, that was the intention.
Let’s talk about the dolls. I’ll give Hendrix credit where it’s due, the puppet and doll elements are genuinely skin crawlingly creepy. Nothing says “sweet dreams” quite like imagining a malevolent puppet watching you from the corner of your bedroom! If the book had focused more on this element, we might have had a winner.
Unfortunately, the story surrounding these creepy collectibles just didn’t work for me. The sibling rivalry between Louise and Mark felt forced, the pacing was as uneven as the floorboards in an old haunted mansion, and the plot took more unexpected turns than a maze.
And then there’s the ending. Oh boy, the ending. Without spoiling anything, let’s just say it felt like Hendrix was rushing to catch a flight and hastily scribbled “THE END” before dashing out the door. It was unsatisfying, confusing, and left me with more questions than answers and not the intriguing kind that keeps you thinking about a book long after you’ve finished it.
The premise had so much potential! Family drama, haunted objects, a house with a mind of its own, these are ingredients for a horror classic. But somehow, this recipe produced a rather bland dish with just a few genuinely spicy moments.
If you’re a die-hard Hendrix fan or really, really into creepy dolls, maybe give it a shot. For everyone else, I’d suggest browsing other listings in the literary housing market. This haunted house just isn’t worth the investment.
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